英女王請專人“馴服”新鞋 看看你能否拿下這份工作


ANN@The China Post

How much do you love the Queen? This is a serious question. I am serious. A test of loyalty to our Queen is nigh. 你有多喜歡女王伊莉莎白二世呢?這是一個嚴肅的問題,我是認真的。這是一個考驗你對女王忠誠度的問題。

I love the Queen dearly, as if she were my own grandmother – but even I questioned the latest job vacancy at Buckingham Palace. 我敬愛女王,愛她就像愛自己的祖母一般。但是即便如此,我還是想對白金漢宮最近的一個職位招募提出質疑。

Throw me in the Tower and feed the key to Prince Andrew, because this is where I draw the line: I would not be the Royal Shoe Breaker-Inner. 如果將我丟到倫敦塔,讓我天天給安德魯王子遞鑰匙,我還可以接受。但是我的底線是,我絕對不會去做專門幫女王把鞋子穿軟這種尊貴的王室工作。

According to the Standard, the Queen has hired such a Royal Shoe Breaker-Inner: someone to walk around the palace’s hallowed hallways every time she gets a new pair of kicks, in order to prevent royal blisters from forming. A footman, if you will. Or footwoman. Plastering up your broken flesh with Boots’ finest wouldn’t be very regal, after all. 據《標準晚報》報導,伊莉莎白女王雇傭了一名專門替她把鞋子穿軟的工作人員。女王每得到一雙新鞋,該工作人員就需要穿上它在白金漢宮神聖的走廊裡來回踱步,直到把鞋子穿軟,以防女王高貴的雙腳被磨出水泡。如果你得到這份工作,可以說,你就是女王的“腳替”了。畢竟,以女王如此尊貴的身份,穿著高級鞋子的雙腳可不能傷痕累累。

I have just spent plenty of time reading conjecture about the Queen’s shoe size, and at risk of depriving you of the chance to take this journey for yourself – I apologise! – she is a size 4. 我花了很多時間看過各種對女王鞋碼的猜測。如果我說出來以後你覺得你沒機會去應聘這個工作了,我向你道歉!女王穿的鞋子是4碼(相當於中國尺碼37碼)。

So: a wearer of size 4 feet (who are you? If you are reading, make yourself known) has been hired for the task. At this very moment, this humble, honourable creature, by now half-woman, half-heel sore, could already be tramping around the drawing room in the Queen’s favourite £1,000 patent leather Anello & Davides. Soft yet? Good. Here’s another pair. 因此,白金漢宮雇傭了一名穿4碼鞋的人來幫女王“馴服”新鞋。(這個人到底是誰呀?如果你剛好在看這篇文章,告訴我們你是誰吧。)此時此刻,這位謙卑低調同時又值得尊敬的女士可能正忍著雙腳的疼痛,穿著女王的心頭好——由英國老牌鞋店Anello&Davides製作、市值1000英鎊的漆皮鞋,在白金漢宮的客廳裡不停走動。鞋子穿軟了?好的,還有一雙!

Given that the nature of the job may require people with fully-functioning tootsies to step into the breach at a moment’s notice, what credentials might the ideal applicant require? Luckily, we have obtained the job advertisement they last used. Peruse it thoroughly, and next time the position opens up, you will be what they call a shoo-in. 鑒於這項工作的性質,白金漢宮需要雇用一批雙腳大小符合條件的後備軍,可以隨時隨地接替上一個人的工作。那麼,能勝任這項工作的人需要符合什麼條件呢?告訴你個好消息——我們找到了白金漢宮之前的招聘啟事。仔細認真地讀一讀,下次這個職位開放招募時,說不定你就能穩操勝券,一舉拿下。