老外不乖/如何破解台灣詐騙電話?老外曝關鍵這一招|Foreigner unveils foolproof method against Taiwan phone scams

A simple sentence can effectively stop most scammers from continuing their charade in Taiwan. (Photo courtesy of Shutterstock) 

【看CP學英文】在台灣的生活,民眾每天都有可能接到無數通來自廣告推銷員或詐騙集團的電話,內容可能是請人申辦新的信用卡、升級5G手機網速或提議贈送免費的茶包樣品 

Solicitors or scammers, we get this kind of phone call every day about life insurance, a new credit card, a 5G subscription, or free tea samples 

「您好!您對您的汽車保險還滿意嗎?電話那頭傳來充滿自信的聲音,她講話語調十分迅速,讓我插不上話。 

“Hello, are you happy with your car insurance,” the confident voice asks. She speaks quickly and does not let me say a word. 

不過,我的回應總是千篇一律,而且我相當樂意分享我的妙招--只需要13個中文字,而且每次都有用! 

My answer is always the same though and you should follow my trick: a short sentence made of 13 Chinese characters. It works every time. 

這點子來源於我經歷的一場誤會,主要是台灣人總是會對我複雜的中文名字感到困惑。 

The idea is very simple and starts from a misunderstanding: Taiwanese people are always confused by my Chinese name. 

當20多年前我來到台灣時,我的學校首先要求我開設銀行帳號以利註冊和其他民生用途。為了開帳,我需要申請中文名字和製作印鑑以便完成所有銀行的文件申請,當然這些申請都需要中文。 

When I arrived in Taiwan 20+ years ago, my school first asked me to open a bank account. To do so, I needed Chinese name and a seal to complete all administrative tasks. All in Chinese, of course. 

但當你的中文還很糟的時候,該怎麼為自己選一個中文名字呢?有許多方式可以解決這問題,像是可以問老師、問朋友和問專家。 

But how to choose a name in Chinese when your Chinese sucksWell, there are many ways to do so: you can ask your teacher, you can ask a friend, and you can ask a specialist.  

有些外籍人士朋友選擇和原姓或原名諧音的中文名字。但問題是我的法語 Bruyas 」,唸出來的話聽起來就像中文的「不要死」;而我的法語名字聽起來又會像某種IKEA的桌子「迪米特里」。這招對我來說,完全行不通 

Some people choose homophones of their first or last nameThe problem is translating my last name (Bruyas) in Chinese sounds like someone who doesn’t want to die (); and my first name (Dimitri) would make me sound like an IKEA table (迪米特里) 

當時我想,台灣人出國念書時也會挑選和原名毫無關係的當地名字,我和不做一樣的事呢?畢竟,台灣珍妮佛(Jennifer)、大衛(David)和班(Ben)的人比我故鄉還多。 

So I thought, Taiwanese people also change their names when they go to study abroad. Why don’t you do the same? After all, there are more Jennifer, David, and Ben in Taiwan than in my home country. 

由於 Dimitri的意思為希臘神話豐收女神狄蜜特的追隨者,因此我選擇龔為姓,名字則因為我來台灣念書,一心「向華」,合起來就是龔向華,方便親友聽懂且好記。 

As Dimitri means “follower of Demeter” (goddess of the harvest) and the meaning of my journey was to go to Taiwan for my studies, I chose to call myself 龔向華, which is both convenient for friends and family and easy to remember. 

除此之外,還方便我申請電話SIM卡、銀行帳戶和填寫學校相關文件。不過這些單位肯定是「不小心」將我的私人資料洩漏給第三方用戶,以致於我就跟其他人一樣,推銷廣告和詐騙電話不停找上門。 

The same convenience applies to my phone company, bank, and school which kindly forgot to inform me that they share my private data with their customers too. 

當一名推銷員、民調人員和詐騙集團打給我打算賣東西,我都會說這13個中文字,「不好意思,但我是一名外國人」他們永都會驚訝且啞口無言。 

When a salesman, pollster or apprentice scammer calls to sell me something, he is always surprised and actually speechless when I tell him excuse me but I am a foreigner. This is not going to work.” 

有趣的是,這招太管用了,因此我的朋友們都會用同一個藉口跟所有打電話來的推銷人員說。 

The funny thing is that these 13 Chinese characters work so well that my friends also use the same excuse whenever solicitors call. 

如果你想避免不必要的騷擾電話並讓推銷員講不出話,我建議你說一樣的話,「不好意思,但我是一名外國人。」 

If you also want to cut short any unnecessary discussion and leave the phone salesperson speechless, I advise you to say the same sentenceExcuse me, but I am a foreigner. This will probably not work. 

當你說出這充滿魔力的13個字,千萬別忘記假裝出你最厲害的外國語腔調!只要稍加練習,你就會看到絕佳的成效。 

Don’t forget to use your best foreign accent when you say this sentence though. With a little practice, you will see that it works every time.